You’re So Beautiful

Well friends, I finally did it. I started a weekly program on YouTube. It's about my speed drawing technique. I take a pretty girl and draw her quickly. Here's my first episode: You're so beautiful - Episode 1 featuring Allie I had a blast creating the intro. I just…


Shoot that alien in the face!

It seemed like forever ago. A friend of mine worked with a beautiful blonde. She always had the most radiant smile when I saw her. So one day, we just started talking. And lo and behold, became friends. I've talked about platonic friendships between men and women before. And y'all…


Bartenders get laid

My favorite bartender in the San Francisco area was skinny and goofy looking. That motherfucker could outdrink anyone though. I wonder where the alcohol went because he really was rail thin. Anyways, he always had a hot girlfriend. And always also had attractive female friends. Was his girl jealous? I'm…


I’m back on Twitter

Hey folks. I'm back on Twitter. My account is opiumtales2 because some jackass has opiumtales. That dickhead is some emo piece of shit who's just sitting on my fame, apparently grabbed while I was banned. What a dick. Anyways, if you're there, give me a follow.


I would have hated to be the Queen

Queen Elizabeth II died earlier today. She lived to be 96 years old. With the title of this article, you may assume I'm talking about her lack of privacy. Or her dysfunctional family. Nope. Something completely different. Now, to be clear about two things - 1. I'm anti-Monarchy. I have…