Tonna’s obscene death

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This is Part III of Princess of the Night. Part I of Princess for the Night is here. onna lost the lottery. She immediately peed in her dress as the other virgin girls in that village and some of the neighboring villages breathed a sigh of relief. Several of the…

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Young love

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This is Part II of Princess for the Night. Part I of Princess of the Night is here. very swings the wooden practice sword and Umfrey easily blocks it. "You're telegraphing, Avery. I saw where the blow would land before you even got close to me. Try again." Yes, a…

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“You’re not going to need that love potion”

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"You're not going to need that love potion." Isabella looked up at her aunt and smiled. "You don't think so?" "No. He's already crazy about you. Apparently everyone in the village knows this but you." Isabella sort of blushed. That's a lot of emotion for Isabella, who's more a thinking…

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Why Opium Tales?

I am a Romantic. No, not the cheesy 20th century definition. I fucking hate how they took something awesome like Romanticism and turned it into something pretty fucking stupid. I am a Romantic, 19th century definition. If you have no idea what I'm referring to, read the Wikipedia page on…

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The Voodoo Sex Shop

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Nobody fucked with Jack. Do you remember that old Jim Croce song about Leroy Brown? Yeah. Jack was the real life version of that guy. Anyways, Jack liked to beat the shit out of other men who thought they were the toughest guy in the bar. He didn't like it…

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What’s in a name? Sometimes, everything

Dammit. I open up one of my old tales and it's called A Pirate's Tale. Written before Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean series came out, one of the main characters was named Jack. So no. Not going to keep that name for obvious reasons. Everyone will think I copied them.…

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Siren’s Lament – What happened at the interview

If you haven't read the first part of that senile old dragon rambling on about the man who broke Parthenope's heart, click here. Then his story will make a little bit more sense. Don't blame me for his ramblings though. I'm just the guy typing. he dragon wasn't so hard…

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Siren’s Lament Part II

If you haven't read the first part of that senile old dragon rambling on about the man who broke Parthenope's heart, click here. Then his story will make a little bit more sense. Don't blame me for his ramblings though. I'm just the guy typing. ou again. Why do you…

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Siren’s Lament intro

orever is a very long time. You've heard that cliché many times. Yet, can you think of a single example of how it could be used in reality? You see, you people get stories wrong all the time. Especially when they're really, really old. Like Parthenope for instance. You know…

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All the King’s Horses

This is Part XIV, the final chapter of Humpty Dumpty. Part I of Humpty Dumpty is here. A slightly different version of this story was going to be the original pilot of the TV show I was working on in 2006. You can read about that story here. everal soldiers…

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