Resting bitch face

I once worked with a girl with resting bitch face. If you don’t know what that is, it’s exactly as it sounds.

Bless her heart, but “Blenda” (not her real name) made a horrible wife. My buddy D and I felt bad for her husband because he was a genuinely good guy.

Like one day it came up that my wife never paid for drinks. Before me, she walked into a bar or a club and got all the drinks paid by guys.

That’s just how it is. If you’re a cute chick, everything is free. You get into clubs for free. You get your drinks for free.

My wife often got a lot more too. Like free sushi rolls for instance. She was the hottest chick the sushi chef saw that week so he gave her plenty of free sushi.

And even after we got married, we’d go to the airport bar. I’d go to the bathroom and come back and there would be an Old Fashioned waiting for me. The guy asked to buy her a drink. She told him she was married. And to save face, he bought drinks for both of us. Besides, we were all stuck waiting for planes so might as well make the best of it.

Actually had some good conversations because of this. The guy rather than running away usually turned out to be pretty cool. And we’d end up buying him a drink or two, depending on how long we had to wait for our flight.

Well, we told Blenda about this. And D confirmed the same for his wife.

Then Blenda spat out “Nobody ever bought me drinks.”

Well, Blenda, maybe your resting bitch face scared everyone away?

Mountains out of molehills

I enjoyed working with D and Blenda. Both of them were good workers and got their shit done.

So we’d often have a group of people join us on lunch walks.

And one day, Blenda dropped a bottle and it broke.

And wow! It was like she walked in on her husband with another woman.

She went absolutely apeshit. Totally blew up.

It’s just a bottle. Not that big of a deal. Except she was almost foaming at the mouth so nobody wanted to tell her to calm down. Or to slap her like in that movie Airplane.

I’ve found that resting bitch face and mountains out of molehills go hand and hand. Usually when a chick has resting bitch face, she makes big deals out of things that shouldn’t be big deals.

Anyways, the company got bought out. We all got laid off. I kept in touch with D. I have no idea what happened to Blenda because I got rid of my LinkedIn years ago.

But I imagine with her resting bitch face, she probably didn’t age too well. Her poor husband.