I don’t just state problems. I state problems, then propose solutions.
That’s how I think.
Women love to complain. They’ll lay out all their problems and expect you to listen to them all. Then get irritated when a man proposes solutions.
Well, guess what?
This article isn’t for the ladies. I’m not here to listen to your problems. I’m here to fix things.
This article is for the boys without fathers. And how to help make you a man. Not a cartoon male. Not a sissy momma’s boy. A man.
What is a man?
A man isn’t just an 18+ year old with XY chromosomes. It takes a lot more than that to make a man.
First off, men hold their frame. Men are the rocks at the funeral when everyone else is losing it. Men are the ones who rush into the burning house, totally disregarding danger to their own life and limb, and coming out with your baby, still alive, still breathing.
Men build things. Men can also fix broken things.
Those are just some of the things men do.
Men are the people you want to encounter when you’re broken down on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere with a storm approaching.
Men also make up the vast majority of scientists, engineers, great artists, great composers, and great architects.
Almost every worthwhile invention in history was invented by a man.
Offended? Well, look it up yourself.
This isn’t a knock on women by any means. There’s a reason why we let the ladies get on the lifeboats first. (I’ll also get around to doing an awesome women post. But that’s another day. Not today).
Rather, this article shows reality. Men are important. Men have always been important. And men will always be important.
Anyone who says otherwise is a piece of shit. I have no respect for a male wearing a “the future is female” shirt. 100% of the time, he’s a scumbag. No exceptions, unless the mob threatened to kill his family if he didn’t wear the shirt.
“So how does a male become a man?”
And now for the beef of this article.
First off, what’s the difference between a boy and a man?
Responsibilities. Men have things they have to do. This isn’t a choice. Men have to do these things.
Men are responsible for themselves. And for the people they love.
This is more than just making your bed and doing your homework. This is making sure your tribe survives.
Think of it on a more primal level. You have a role to play. How well do you play it? Can your tribe count on you to do your role well?
That’s why boys without fathers often end up in gangs. At least they belong to something. They’re responsible for something. They have a role they play.
That’s what men need – roles.
Roles give them purpose. I personally play a bunch of roles. I play the role of husband, father, artist, musician, composer, co-producer, employer, and American man.
In each one of those roles, people depend on me. The artist, musician, and composer are for entertainment purposes. I’m also contributing to our culture. I want to make the world a better place and since I’m not a scientist finding a cure for a horrible disease, I’ll create beauty instead.
A man shows up for work. He does his day’s job. He doesn’t complain. He appreciates his job, and does a damn good job at it. In fact, so good that he ends up with even more responsibility because his peers don’t share his work ethic.
A man pays his bills. He is responsible. He takes his credit score seriously.
A man understands that he will live a long time and invests in his future. Sure, not just stock, real estate, and bitcoin. He also invests in his health. And his hobbies because he understands mental health is no joke.
A man takes care of his family. If he doesn’t have a wife and kids, then he’s a damn good uncle. Or community member. Or a good neighbor.
A man keeps his cool. The whole world may be on fire, but he’s still keeping his cool. As he knows he’s responsible for helping make the world a better place.
And that jackass throwing a brick through a window? That’s not a man. That’s a petulant child in an adult body.
Men make the world a better place. They create statues, not destroy them.
They create art. Not censor it.
Men gravitate towards Freedom. Momma’s boys are the ones trying to impose their beliefs on others because deep down inside, they’re scared of everything and they need to know everything will be ok.
Men make everything ok. Because that’s what men do.
So how to become a man if you had no guidance?
Well first and foremost, you learn self-control. Some argue for meditation. I personally don’t like it, but if that’s your thing, more power to you.
I personally enjoy controlled violence. Team sports like American football or soccer. And the fighting arts like Muay Thai and Judo or Jiu-Jitsu.
The harder you train, the more you learn self-control.
Contrary to popular opinion, athletes and fighters are generally pretty cool people. Sure, you have your crazy ones but most of the time it’s an act. Sometimes you have to showboat to be seen. It’s like Tom Brady, some unknown quarterback drafted in the late rounds and buried in the depth chart going up to Mr. Kraft and telling him that he’ll be the best Patriot there ever was.
Men have a confidence to them. Dare I say a swagger.
If you’re not confident, you need to work on that.
Where do you lack confidence? With speech? That can be learned.
With women? That can be learned.
Whatever it is, you can fix it. Sissies give up. Men fix things. Including themselves.
Like I just said, everything can be learned. But also, the better you get at something, the more confident you get. Want to know how to get better at anything? Repetition.
Have a purpose
Men have a purpose that’s higher than themselves. My paintings will outlive me by centuries. I’ll be dust and bones and my paintings will still sell for the big bucks.
I’ll go to my grave knowing that too. I can already see myself on my deathbed. With the right people coming by to say goodbye, while eyeing some of the art of my walls, hoping they’d inherit some of it.
Purpose, my friends.
Purpose can be anything. Being a good husband or wife. Being a good father. Being a good friend.
Those are all wonderful things.
Or it could be something more abstract. Become a great artist, a great writer, a great musician.
Or it could be something that can be proven. Break a sports record. Land in the Guinness Book of World’s Records for something.
Or just get really good at your job. We all know we need more folks who take pride in their work. There’s a reason we all love Amish furniture.
I’m not you. This is something you have to decide for yourself.
Children go thru life in wonder. Confused half the time.
Men though, men have purpose. Something higher than themselves.
If you meet a man who’s been successful at life – he had a purpose.
These smash the state idiots? They have no purpose, other than to create havoc and make the rest of us late to work.