Finding faults in everyone else but herself

There are two types of people in the world. Of course, it’s not exactly an all or nothing thing. It’s more we lean in one direction or another.

You’ll find the self-improvement people. And the opposite? Not necessarily people who stagnate or get worse every year. They’re more the people who find faults in everyone else but lack the introspection to find faults in themselves.

In my previous post, I talked about a talented Millennial girl whose band I joined. She had tons of natural talent but no work ethic.

At the time, I thought I could ride her talents to my success. I had failed badly in music for years and this time around, I’d rather ride someone else’s coattails.

Well, it turned out it was a huge mistake. Rather than getting shit done, I wasted almost two years with someone with a shitty work ethic.

She was the extreme version of the opposite of self-improvement people. She’d find faults in everyone but herself. And worse yet, she’d actually interrupt a recording session if one of the musicians made a mistake. So we decided to record without her presence, then have her add the vocals later.

We ended up doing exactly that. And when it came time for her to record, she dropped the ball.

She thought that all you have to do to become a rock star was to look good and show up. If she spent half the time practicing her vocals that she did on her image, she may have amounted to something.

“It’s still your fault”

I sincerely feel bad for kids with shitty parents. You don’t get to choose your parents.

Now, an adult in a shitty relationship? Whose fault is that?

Theirs, of course. They should have filtered better.

So once again, I put more blame on myself than her. I knew what she was. I saw the red flags. And I ignored them. Bad Roman.

That’s one of the absolute most important lessons in self-improvement. You take responsibility for everything.

Yes, everything.

It’s the same for non-romantic relationships. If you got a bad band member and you keep them, whose fault is that?

A cleverly run athletic franchise, regardless of the sport, is always trying to find players who fit the system better. Sports fans know that winning is a combination of talent, chemistry, morale, and timing. If you keep signing shitty players, you got no one but yourself to blame for your team sucking.

This is why self-improvement people continually improve

My son and I had a good talk yesterday. He noticed that my wife and I are head and shoulders above his peers’ parents at just about everything. Health – definitely. There are a few who got us financially, but of those who do, they’ll die decades before we will. What good is money if you don’t live long enough to enjoy it? Relationships – yes, there are a few tied with us. Which is great. I’m always glad to see other couples who are heavily into each other. As for passions? It’s definitely us.

If I’m having a bad day, I’m not going to blame you. I’m going to see what I can do to make the day better.

I don’t blame other people for my faults. I also don’t spend time criticizing other people. That’s a waste of time and it doesn’t get shit done.

Yes, I’ll sometimes say something bad about someone. But it’s because you asked and I told you the truth.

For the people in the past, I’m mentioning them as a learning example for myself. First, why did it take that long for me to bail on her band?

That’s not her fault. That’s mine.

How can I improve that? Well, I could become a better musician so I could more easily attract better musicians.

I could also listen to my conscience. It told me her red flags. I didn’t listen.

Keep in mind my friends, this post is not about music.

And speaking of music, subscribe to my YouTube channel. I’ll have more up there when I record more…

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.