I know I come across as cold to some folks. But let me tell you one cold, hard fact of life. You have limited time.
You don’t know when you’re going to die, unless it’s by your own hand.
Even people who get “six months to live” by their doctor can die tomorrow or live another six years. Nobody really knows.
What you do have control over? What you do with the time you have.
So, should you waste time with people who are incessant whiners and scared of the world? Maybe you have the urge to save people.
I no longer do. I’ve now been burned one too many times. If that makes me appear cold, so be it.
You can’t rescue people from themselves
Another cold, hard fact of life. Once a person becomes an adult, they’re set in their ways. Very few people change. Very few people adapt.
“Well, I know this one guy…”
Yeah, you know the exception. Congratulations. Let’s whip out the bottle of champagne and invite over a pair of strippers. Yay!
Even self-improvement types are more often than not more talk than action. Or, they’re too far gone.
I knew one self-improvement guy who stunk. Really bad. Really, really bad. I mean like when your dog rolls in shit.
Maybe the guy never learned to wipe his ass properly.
So sure. He’s improving some parts of his life. But he still stinks. So badly that I didn’t like being within 10 feet of him.
I wasted several years trying to rescue my main model before Allie. Now for the record, I’m not at all blaming her. I’m blaming myself. It’s my fault that I saw something I wanted to see rather than seeing reality.
If you don’t learn from your mistakes…
There are wonderful people out there
And most importantly of all, there are wonderful people out there. Folks you can learn a lot from. Folks that can inspire you.
If you surround yourself with wonderful people rather than shitty people, your attitude towards life will improve. In fact, your life will get better.
It’s all about filtering. Don’t be too nice. If someone is shit, cut them off.
Meanwhile, that time you wasted on that shitty person, you could have been spending with a quality person. But you know what? You missed your window with quality person because you wasted two years with shit person. Quality person no longer has time for you. You missed your chance.
See what I’m getting at?
Sure, I can check up on stupid boomer hippie. Or I could get to know several people I met recently that don’t have red flags.
You get door A. Or door B. You don’t get both.
You have limited time. Use it wisely.
And note – this article is for myself just as much as it is for anyone else. It’s a reminder to myself to cut off the shit sooner.
Green flags and red flags
Here’s an exercise for you. Start listing green flags. Then start listing red flags.
Example green flags – looks great physically (proof they take care of themselves), doesn’t stink, has a solid work ethic, treats people fairly, has friends for decades, honest, likes Brazilian steakhouses.
Example red flags – looks like shit, frowns all the time, complains a lot, stinks, lies, Cheesecake Factory is his or her favorite restaurant.
Seriously. Make that list. Write it down if you have to.
This one exercise is guaranteed to make your life better.