A stupid hippie I once knew

Well, stupid may be the wrong word. The guy actually had a high IQ.

But then again, the most stupid people you know often have high IQs. Weird how that works.

Anyways, I just remember I mentioned this guy before. Now, you get to really know him.

This guy’s your classic intellectual beta male. All brains. No balls.

A boomer, he was married to the same woman for decades. Never had kids.

I already mentioned the headbanging story. He once asked me why Metalheads bang their heads. I simply replied “to keep time.” Keep in mind, Metal is no easy feat. To play Metal, you have to have your chops. And fall a step behind the drummer and you got serious problems, especially when playing live.

Well, douchebag boomer replies “no, that can’t be it.”

I fucking hate people like that. They ask you something. You answer them honestly. And they doubt you.

Anyways, boomer hippie also asked why I hunted. Well, I knew he couldn’t take the honest truth so I gave him a longer explanation. I explained how men who don’t have low T levels like sex and violence. Now, sex is great but violence could get you thrown in jail. So you do something constructive with your violence like lift weights, put the gloves on and trade punches with your friends, or play an organized sport.

Yours truly? I actually love football and soccer best. I’m not a solo sport guy. Yeah, I did both the BJJ and boxing, but I prefer football and soccer way, way more than the fighting arts. I’m a team guy more than a me guy.

Even hunting. I don’t hunt alone. I always go with friends.

But back to the story, I explained that killing is fun. And boomer hippie freaked out like I was a psycho.

No boomer hippie. I’m not a psycho. You’re low T.

No wonder your wife left you. She was disgusted that she married a bitch with a beard and finally came to her senses.

Last time I saw him, Trump had just gotten elected. Now, I’m not taking sides in the Trump vs Clinton or Trump vs Biden bs. I’m sick of politics. But we’ve learned in the last two years that your governor has way more control over your life than your president. That’s why I left a communist state and moved to a normal one. So I could have a normal life, surrounded by normal people.

And what did he do when Trump got elected? You guessed it. He had a nervous breakdown.

That’s when his wife left him. I’m pretty sure she regrets she took so long. She probably hadn’t had an orgasm since 1972.

A mutual friend of ours said I should reach out to him because he really looked up to me.

Nah. I don’t like wasting my time with losers. If you haven’t figured out how to be a normal person by 25, it’s more than likely too late.

Published
Categorized as Musings

By Roman

Pinup Artist. Composer. Writer.

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