My beef with Mary Jane

I want to very clear on something. I’m very libertarian.

No, not big L libertarian. I’m not a member of the political party. I’ve been to several of their meetings and even personally talked to one of their presidential candidates.

Small l libertarian. That means, if my neighbor wants to have a party with whatever drug he chooses with transvestite leper hookers, more power to him. But if the music is blaring past midnight on a school night, I’m calling the police.

I’m not a party member because I think a lot of them got some crazy ass beliefs. Like for instance, there’s a large contingent of them who believe in open borders.

Fuck those people! We got borders for a reason.

Also, Libertarians are often very cold ass people. I’m warm.

But we do share beliefs in Freedom. And I’ve met some of them who know the Founding Fathers better than I do.

That’s awesome.

Just don’t wake me up

I don’t care what drugs you do. As long as you don’t drive on the same street I’m driving on while under the influence of those drugs.

I don’t care what guns you own.

I don’t care what your religion is.

I don’t care what your sexual perversion is as long as it doesn’t involve anyone under the age of consent. I hate pedophiles and in a perfect world, the father of a molested child gets to kill the pervert and it’s not even a slap on the wrist. Heck, he should get a medal.

So now that that’s all out of the way…

My beef with Mary Jane

We’re talking the drug. Not Spiderman’s smoking hot girlfriend.

I was just telling my wife this while driving this morning. I’ve been to cocaine parties. I’ve been to X parties. I’ve been to pot parties. And I’ve been to meth parties.

The meth parties are the ones I like the least. I don’t like tweekers because they’re the most annoying people on the planet. I’ve known people who couldn’t even talk complete sentences because their brains were that fried.

Yes, not an exaggeration.

The question with meth is what comes first – the carbuncles or the fried brains. I guess depends on the addict.

X parties are the ones I like the best. Everyone is chill. Very touchy, which I have no problem with at all.

I strongly believe handshakes and hugs are underrated. I hate Fauci with a passion, not just because he’s a wannabe tyrant, but he’s scaring people into not touching each other.

You wanna see suicide rates skyrocket?

Stop human touch.

Humans are meant to touch each other. Heck, look at dogs. When my wife is on the couch, the dog will put her feet on my wife’s leg. Because touch is magical. Dogs know it. I’ve always said that we can learn a lot from dogs.

All my closest friends touch. It’s a requirement. I avoid people who avoid touch. I think they’re off.

Cocaine parties are cool. No, I don’t indulge because people do coke so they can be more like me. My energy levels are such that you do coke so you can keep up with me. I’m naturally high octane. I’ve always been like that.

Yes, some folks can get edgy and the addicts are either carpet crawlers or window peekers.

I get along with carpet crawlers way more than window peekers. If you know me, the reason is obvious.

Now pot parties…

Tweekers look like shit. They age 2-3x faster than normal people and their teeth start to go. Plus the carbuncles. (Insert barf icon here).

Cocaine users look the best. Wanna be a model? Do coke. You’ll stay slim.

The X parties had some cuties too.

But pot parties? Yuck. Fat gamma male dudes. Almost without exception.

I’m convinced that pot is the official drug of gamma males.

Let me give you an extreme example.

One of my inner circles friends helped throw an insane pot party. Cost – $180,000. Yes, that was the figure.

His boss ran one of the most beautiful magazines I’ve ever seen. They used top quality paper and had top quality models and top quality photographers.

It was a pot magazine because at this time period, we all knew that pot was about to go legal and you can make money selling to growers.

No, not growing. Selling supplies to growers.

It’s like the gold rush. It wasn’t the people digging for gold who made all the money. It was the people who sold supplies to those people who made all the money. A lot of people who looked for gold barely made shit.

Same with pot. Some growers get robbed. Some don’t even break even. It’s a horrible business unless you’re at the top.

But selling supplies to growers? Bam! That’s where the money’s at.

Anyways, the party was off the hook. Awesome food. Great music. Secret location/invite only. Kind of like one of those crazy ass 90s raves.

Best part of it all? They brought in 25 gorgeous Eastern European girls to just be there.

And this, my friends, is why I say potheads are mostly gamma males.

Great food. Great music. Gorgeous EE girls.

And you know how many of the potheads even talked to these hot babes?

Almost zero.

They were mostly overweight social retards who hung out amongst themselves. And smoked lots of pot.

So, the EE girls noticed me. And I ended up dancing the night away with some smoking hot chicks.

Yes, my wife was there so I didn’t do anything naughty with any of them. But I do got pics of the babes I danced with.

Just to be clear

This is a generalization. If you’re the exception, then you’re the exception.

But I make lots of generalizations because generalizations are generally true. Like for instance, if you saw a man carrying a purse running from a cop, he probably stole that purse. Maybe the guy is carrying a European handbag (not the same thing as a purse) and the cop is his best friend and they’re both training for a marathon. I’ll bet you though that the guy stole that purse and the cop is chasing him.

So if you’re super fit, get to work on time, have a smoking hot wife, and smoke pot regularly, you’re an exception. Congratulations. No, you can’t have my burrito.

Potheads are generally fat gamma males who don’t do well with the babes so they spend their weekends smoking dope rather than meeting beautiful women.

It’s an aesthetics thing

Cigarettes ads, back when they were legal, had great aesthetics.

Alcohol ads generally have good aesthetics. It’s a shame that Corona went from making good ads in the 90s to woke bullshit in the 2010s. At least liquor ads though still have good aesthetics to this day.

Alcohol bars have a wide range of customers. I’ve met beautiful women in bars.

Pot though? Horrible aesthetics. Both the men and the women are fat.

And if they’re not fat, give them a few years. They will be.

Categorized as Rants


  1. Brings back memories, my hometown’s heroin representatives were all shady looking and emtionally stunted creatures.

    X…most were okay to deal with. Nose candy? Unpredictable, yet the women were interesting. Weed? Yeah, long term losers if full time users.

    It didn’t pay to be a weed smoker. You ended up being treated like an older cousin if you stayed with it. Depending on the company, a birthday party with decent booze usually could make the social nut. Not always for chicks but a cheap lay. You usually had to hit the sorority spots for better trim.

    1. Nailed it with all of them.

      I’ve never been to a heroin gathering as I avoid those people. Most heroin addicts remind me of grunge, which was the worst thing to happen to American music. And not surprisingly, most grunge bands had heroin problems.

      And yes – cocaine folks are definitely unpredictable but the girls are horny (and slim) so it’s sometimes worth it.

      There’s a reason why that shirt “alcohol – helping ugly people get laid since 1862” sells. I was friends with a hot chick awhile back who got drunk and threw her panties at Sammy Hagar, then fell down. Long-term, she probably wouldn’t be the best wife. But if I wasn’t seeing someone at the time…

  2. Another fabulous, well written post. The more of your posts I read, the more I like you. Keep up the great posts

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