I’m an S&M Poseur

Judas Priest has been my favorite band since about 1984 or ’85. I don’t remember when exactly I switched from Ozzy to Priest.

Nothing against Ozzy of course. But after Randy Rhoads died, Ozzy never had an elite songwriter.

Jake E Lee and Zakk Wilde were phenomenal guitarists. But songwriters? Nope. Rhoads sits alone on that throne.

I had a girlfriend awhile back who used to make fun of Priest. Not surprisingly, she was a lousy fuck. She liked Pearl Jam.

I don’t hate Pearl Jam like I hate Nirvana. I just find Pearl Jam boring.

Priest on the other hand is the greatest band that ever was.

The Heavy Metal look

Judas Priest invented the Heavy Metal look in the late 70s. It’s funny because two things people forget. One – Priest didn’t start off with that look. They looked silly in their early years.

The second – they give credit to the wrong person. They wrongly think it was Rob Halford’s gay S&M look. Nope, it was KK who came up with the look, and KK is every bit as straight as I am.

So I’ve always liked that look – leather, spikes, and chains. It did indeed come from S&M.

When I was in my last band, I had the leather, spikes, and chains. Still do but they’re all collecting dust. Now I just write symphonic music. I haven’t written a Metal song since I wrote “She’s Better Than You” for Roxy, which is a song about replacing my main model before Allie because I got sick of her shit. Plus, she got fat. She used to be so smoking hot that when we saw Tokio Hotel together back in the day, the singer stared at her half the show and even sang directly to her a bunch of times.

I still need to record that song. I’m working on the guitar solo. I’ve lost a lot of speed since I’ve been in a Metal band (2017).

Me and S&M

I’ve shot a lot of porn. It’s funny. Back when I had a twitter account, I heard a lot of guys complaining about their porn addictions. I couldn’t help thinking to myself “then stop being an incel.”

It’s really not that hard. (No pun intended).

Anyways, I’ve done my share of tying up chicks and filming me doing things to them while they’re tied up. It sounded like a fun idea at the time but I didn’t get any enjoyment out of it.

I like the look more than the actual act. The actual act, I find boring. No offense of course if that’s your thing. It’s just not my thing.

Also, I went to one S&M convention. It was awful.

Everyone was fat. Yeah, I get it. This whole country’s fat nowadays. But to see fat people wearing nothing but leather strips?

Yuck. Cover yourselves please. Mine eyes!

Anyways, I noticed I haven’t written anything yet this month and it’s already the 8th. So here’s an article. And here is Judas Priest, the greatest band that ever was.

4 comments

    1. Halford’s the best singer in popular music, period. Even Luciano Pavarotti said “Rob Halford has one of the 10 best voices on the planet.” Translated from Italian of course.

      A poser is someone who pretends to be. I love S&M fashion. I think the act itself is boring.

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